Spiritual Solutions

It is normal to want to be with only those people with whom you are comfortable, but this is neither realistic nor healthy. If you were surrounded only with those who agree with you, life would be quite static. If two persons only agree, then there is nothing creative or dynamic in the relationship.

Six hundred years B. C. the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu defined life as “to be in relation,” and taught that man lives in proportion to the number of points with which he makes contact with life and with the world. There is a great unity of life, but also a great diversity. Everyone, in his or her own manner, is a creative expression of the same Mind, the same Creator, but unity does not mean sameness. You are not like everyone else, and others are not just like you. It is important, from the very beginning of any relationship, to agree to let the other person just be. People have always differed from one another, and they always will; we must expect this and learn to live with it, learn from it, and enjoy it.

I f people are not what we would wish them to be, if they don’t react as we desire, there is no reason to become angry or be discouraged, any more than we would get mad at a light bulb for not shining when there was a faulty connection. You cannot change others any more than you can change electricity, but you can change the level at which you deal with them. You can transform your attitudes, your expectation, your prejudices and your fears; you can overcome your own resistance to them.

When you climb to a different level in order to draw light from the other person, then it will find expression, and now you are seeing a different facet of that person’s nature which has always been there but which had been obscured by attitudes of a temporary nature. Change your vantage point and you will see others from a different level.

Perhaps we have not yet learned to “turn on the light” when trying to get along with others. If we were always to turn on the light before we make contact with people, that light would reveal for us both a basis of relationship. Two people, approaching each other timidly, each feeling that the other must prove himself worthy, both therefore withholding, have little chance of achieving a harmonious relationship. First turn on the light and begin to find the points of contact that will be enjoyable.

We must condition ourselves to enjoy and learn from diversity within unity. We are all children of God, yet we are all different from one another. Don’t expect people to always agree with you or follow your styles or manners or mores. Don’t expect people to live as you. Accept them as human beings just as you want them to accept you

It is occasionally instructive to take a long, hard look at yourself. Do you by any chance see in yourself an opinionated person, the kind that is being invariably disliked? This results from a feeling of insecurity and is expressed with the refusal to consider any variations. You could practice what one writer called the “invincible might of meekness,” the humility to recognize your own limitations and to admit that others have ideas and their own kind of worthiness. Have enough spirit of adventure to listen to others and to consider their ways.

So many of us have a pervasive fear of change in ourselves and a dislike of change in others. Shakespeare wrote, “Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.” Be sure your motives for befriending someone are not selfish. Relate to the person as he or she really is. Every person has his own life story, his own situation, so be sensitive and responsive to this and not to your own preconceived attitudes or feelings of what he should be.

Try not to fall to the level of being irritated, angry or annoyed at others. Ask yourself as a scientist would, “Why do I react in this way?” Why let someone else determine how you feel? Then ask yourself why the other person behaved as he did. What inner conflicts might he have? Does he suffer from feelings of unworthiness? Has she just experienced a crushing defeat? Is he afraid of you? Dealing with situations in this manner will not only free you from being irritated, but may well find you going out of your way to assist the other person rather than hurting yourself by resenting him or her and fighting back.

It is a great feeling to be able to study others objectively and to master your own personal reactions. It does not require any special greatness of soul, only the willingness to attempt it and to work at it. You will be thrilled to see your true self shine, rather than always resorting to being defensive. Act out of your own largeness of spirit; be what you want to be and accept all others as they want to be.

Refuse to permit life or other persons to decide how you are going to act or feel. Develop control over yourself at all times, whatever the situation might be. Know that life is growth and that everyone has something to bring to it. Meeting life in this consciousness, you will attract to you the kind of people who will make life worthwhile.

Remember, God is Blessing You, Right Now!

Rev. Alan A. Rowbotham
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Rev. Alan Rowbotham, a Unity minister for over thirty-eight years, invites you to enjoy more articles and/or subscribe to his free inspirational newsletter, “Spiritual Solutions,” at www.spiritualsolutionsblog.com

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(This article is adapted from an original article by Colin Joss, of “Back Roads Marketing” in the UK)

The Beatles have always had a soft spot in my heart because when living in England before I moved to the United States, I had a very slight personal connection with them besides loving their music.

My martial arts instructor, Baron Omidi, had owned a nightclub in London before opening the Martial Arts School of Self-Defense where I attended and eventually achieved my black belt. Baron was the one who gave the Beatles their first start in London long before they became famous.

Also, my friend with whom I worked as a typesetter on the night shift in Manchester, England, for some time, lived next door to Paul McCartney’s then girlfriend Linda who later became his wife. We would often see Paul going in and out of the house. 

“All You Need is Love” was, of course, one of the Beatles greatest hit songs. And it expressed a great truth when it ended up with the words “Love is all you need.”

Love is an emotion that has inspired countless songs and ballads and stories and lives. Love is an emotion for all ages from the womb to the tomb. Love is an emotion that takes different shapes and forms, from maternal love to filial love to love between partners in relationship to love for friends. Love is a powerful emotion that (is said to) transcend all.

Love is a decision. In a relationship, once the initial heart-stopping “crush” has worn off, the relationship is sustained by a “decision to love.” Once the rose-tinted glasses are off and the idiosyncrasies of the “other” have stopped being charming and cute, commitment is called for.

Ernie Larson, author of Stage II Recovery, said that a relationship can be described by a telephone wire. The two poles holding up the wire are the partners in a relationship and the line strung between them is love. The wire or the love can flow only as long as both poles are upright, neither pole can support the wire on its own.

Love is a powerful, positive energy. The universe is filled with love, it is filled with positive energy. This positive energy is available for all of us to tap into. Love will fill us with peace and tranquillity. Love can make the whole world live in perfect harmony. Actions inspired by love are noble actions.

The Law of Attraction tells us that “like attracts like.” It says we need to fill ourselves with positive energy so that we attract positive energy. Then we need to focus single-mindedly on our goal, on our ambition. The positive energy and the focus on our goal, with the unwavering belief that we can achieve our goal, will make our dreams come true, will give us the sweet taste of success.

Our dreams are within our grasp, but success does not come easy. It requires focus and dedication. It requires us to embark on the journey toward our goal. Along the way there will be potholes and road bumps. Along the way there will be crossroads that will allow us to choose whether to continue on our journey or to change tracks completely. At times the road will be so bumpy that we will need to take a diversion. Our focus on our goal, however, will always bring us back to the road.

Along the road we will also meet many passersby, most of whom will be strangers. We will have the choice of nodding to them in greeting or not meeting their eye and just passing by like ships in the night. We may also choose to let them walk by our side and exchange stories with them. The shared experience will make us richer. We may choose to help them carry their burden or we may choose to take up their offer to lighten our own burden. The journey will seem shorter and easier with another by our side.

As we develop a relationship of love and fill ourselves with positive energy, the road bumps will get smoothened and the road will seem straighter. The road to our goal will be full of choices we need to make and we will have the freedom to choose.

Remember, God is Blessing You Right Now!

Rev. Alan A. Rowbotham

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