Spiritual Solutions

 WELCOME TO:
Lesson Twelve: Kindness

Please listen to the audio first by clicking on the link below, then let’s read the lesson together.

Lesson Twelve: Kindness

We encounter endless opportunities in a day to behave with kindness or harshness. These situations can invove those closest to us or those we don’t know - the guy in front of us on the road, the customer service person on the phone, the clerk at the gas station. Offering kindness involves treating the other person or people as we would like to be treated.

I was just reading an article in the newspaper this morning about a major urban hospital giving classes to correct bad behavior and to help people in the medical field rediscover the value of old-fashioned common courtesy. Julie Salamon, the writer, points out that the simplest form of human communication - a harsh or caring tone, abrupt or attentive behavior - can be healing or destructive.

She says that in the past few years, hospitals have begun writing codes to promote respectful behavior all around. One would hope that we would naturally treat and respond to others with kindness without needing written codes, but at least I guess it shows some progress if hospitals, of all places, at least recognize the need and do something to promote it.

We feel better about ourselves when we respond with kindness rather than impatience, rudeness or a short temper. We set in motion a cycle of positive feelings and actions both for ourselves and the receivers of our kindness.

Think of times, for instance, in your own buying experiences. I’ve been thinking about buying a new car, so I’ve been looking around at different cars at different dealers. At one dealer I was looking at a car and asking the salesperson a few questions about it. When he asked for my details and I said I wasn’t quite ready to share them yet, he puffed up and said loudly, “Are you afraid I’m going to hound you or something?”  Of course, I haven’t been back there. I’m pretty sure that we all prefer to buy from those who offer us kindness, rather than from people who treat us badly or carelessly.

Because God is love and kindness is love, kindness comes from our God-self. Life feels a whole lot better when we live from our God-selves rather than from a place of separation, a place of me-against-them.

When we behave kindly, we generally also feel peaceful, centered in our Godness (goodness). Of course, then we naturally also feel steady in the wind.

Ann Strong, creator of the “Steady in the Wind” series who has kindly given me permission to use and adapt them for Spiritual Solutions, says that she monitors her kindness by how she treats telemarketers. She has two objectives: get off the phone within seconds and do it with kindness. If the person has told her their name, she uses it. “Chris, thank you for calling. I’m not available to talk about that right now. Good-bye.” Chris may then keep talking, “Can I ask you just one question?” She says, “No, Chris, I really need to go. Bye.” And she hangs up. She says that feels good to her. She will not allow Chris to hold her hostage and she doesn’t want to treat Chris badly.

“On a not-so-great day,” she says, “I may not speak with kindness or patience, which spirals me into an even less great place. At that point, I’ll take a breather to get myself moving back in the direction of feeling great. I will forgive myself for speaking rudely to Chris. Then, I’ll spend a minute or two imagining something that always helps me feel great - listening to my niece play the piano, taking a walk in the desert, having dinner with a good friend. That usually gets me right back on the kindness road, with only a small detour instead of spending days on the wrong path.”

PRACTICE KINDNESS THIS WEEK

Notice when you tend to be kind naturally and in what situations you would like to choose to offer more kindness.

Begin choosing kindness more consistently. As soon as you notice yourself feeling not as good as you’d like, take a few minutes to re-center yourself.

Record your evidence in your journal.

CONTINUE PRACTICING CONNECTING

What opportunities have you noticed for connecting, both with people you don’t know and those closest to you? Choose several situations to begin practicing really connecting. Record your feelings and outcomes in your evidence journal.

For myself, I decided to take a new opportunity for connecting by creating a Twitter account, and I’ve already connected with some people I didn’t know and connected in a different way with some people I did already know. It’s a great way to network with people.

Go ahead and create a Twitter account and start “following” people you want. Others will start following you in return. Observe how others post and you’ll quickly learn the culture, etiquette, and uses for Twitter. Just go to http://www.twitter.com. Then visit my page at http://twitter.com/RevAlan and click on the “Follow” box that is displayed just under my photo. (That’s all there is to it.) See you on Twitter!

CONTINUE PRACTICING KNOWLEDGE SHARING

Which books, newsletters, people, organizations and experiences have changed your life? How can you more consistently and generously share those resources with others? Are you recording how you feel as you share your knowledge and resources? What new opportunities and possibilities are coming your way?

CONTINUE PRACTICING GENEROSITY

How are you being more generous with your time, money, energy and resources? How do you feel living more generously? What new opportunties and possibilities are coming your way?

CONTINUE PRACTICING DETACHMENT

How consistently do you KNOW that your good comes from one source only - God? That you serve on God’s payroll? Can you completely focus on the other person’s situation and needs, rather than your own? Are you recording in your evidence journal what happens by focusing on detachment?

CONTINUE PRACTICING GRATITUDE

Are you making entries in your gratitude journal daily? How are you doing with looking for something about which you can be grateful even in challenging situations? Are you recording in your evidence journal what happens by focusing on gratitude even in tough situations?

CONTINUE PRACTICING OPENNESS

In what situations can you brainstorm several possible new ways to proceed? If you get stuck, ask a friend or colleague to help you brainstorm options. Record your findings and opportunities in your evidence journal.

CONTINUE PRACTICING AWARENESS

Several times this week, check in with yourself. How do you feel, physically and emotionally? What will make you feel even better? Look for opportunities. Talk about what feels most exciting to you. Ask for what you want. Find out what others need. Give it to them. Record your findings in your evidence journal.

CONTINUE PRACTICING COMMITMENT

Have you written your commitment for your life? Are you recording evidence in your journal that supports your commitment?

CONTINUE PRACTICING COMMANDING

What have you chosen to command or claim? Are you recording evidence in our journal? What is showing up for you?

CONTINUE PRACTICING VISIONING

Whenever you feel stuck, do you write out a vision? Are you tracking evidence for all your visions?

CONTINUE PRACTICING DEEP LISTENING

Are you integrating both deep listening within and deep listening to others into your natural, regular routine?

CONTINUE PRACTICING YOUR OBSERVER ROLE

Is observation becoming a natural part of your life and work?

Next week, you will receive an extra and final wrap-up lesson: Trust.

Until then, have fun with kindness, connecting, knowledge sharing, generosity, detachment, gratitude, openness, awareness, commitment, commanding, visioning, listening deeply and observing.

God is Blessing You, Right Now!

Rev. Alan A. Rowbotham
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Rev. Alan A. Rowbotham, a Unity minister for over thirty-six years, invites you to enjoy more articles and/or subscribe to his free inspirational newsletter, Spiritual Solutions or go directly to the Spiritual Solutions Blog

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